Good morning, darling.
I've made your breakfast.
Did you sleep all right?
Erm, yeah.
Yeah.
I-- yeah.
I had a really weird dream.
Did you, babe?
Yeah.
I dreamed you chucked me and I moved
in with a girl I hardly knew.
I chucked you?
Yeah.
TIM: As if.
Yeah.
Tim!
Shit!
Shit.
Son of a bitch!
Tim?
I'm really trying to work.
What are you telling me for?
Well, I--
I can't concentrate with this mess.
I just-- I think it's time we unpacked.
Oh, I have unpacked.
Have you?
I'm not talking about your room.
I'm talking about this room.
This is a shared area.
You've got stuff in here, too.- Yeah.
I know.But it's under your stuff.
Soon as you clear it up, I can do the rest.
- I've got work to do.- Yeah.
So you keep saying.
But I haven't seen yousit behind that typewriter
for longer than two minutes.
What do you mean?
I mean I think you'retrying to avoid doing any work.
Oh, really?
I just think we should draw up
some kind of a rota, all right?
All right.
We need to establish domestic equilibrium.
OK.
We need get used to each other.
We don't know each other that well, do we?
Thrush.
No.
In the interests of makingthis co-habitation charade work
for us, I think we shoulddo everything we can
to try and make day-to-day life as easy
and enjoyable as possible.
All right. All right.
I'm agreeing with you.
Right.
I'll get on with it then.
All righty.
OK.
Right.
I'm-- I'm going to divide itinto kitchen, living room--
Right then.
TIM BISELY: Hey.
It's OK. It's me.
Gosh.
How's it going?
Fine.
How long have I been going?
Two and a half minutes.
Shit.
- Listen, I've got an idea.- What?
It's something I think you're going to like.
I've got to be getting on with the--
It's important, Daisy.
Trust me.
Mm.
I'm glad we did that.
We had to, really.
Mm.
It was inevitable. You know?
I'm just glad we did itsooner rather than later.
I think there would havebeen a hell of a lot of tension
if we left it any longer.
You're telling me.
What should we do now?
I think we should descale the teapot.
You filthy bitch.
You love it.
Oh.
Here we go.
Tim?
What are you doing?
Erm, well, we're having a saleon X-Men comics at the shop.
And Bilbo wanted me todraw a picture of Wolverine
slashing prices with his adamantium claws.
DAISY: Oh, right.
I'm also doing a poster--
All right!
Oh.
Oh, my glasses.
Where are my glasses?
Oh.
Right.
Yes!
Let's have a party.
Let's have a housewarming party.
What?
It would be great.
I can make invitations outof plastic and tinfoil.
We can invite Marsha from upstairs and Brian.
Yeah. All right.
When? - Tonight!
Let's have it tonight. - Tonight?
Yeah.
That's a bit short notice.
It'll be great.
I'll call all my mates.
It will be like Warhol's Factory.
You know?
Artists, writers, musicians,dossers off the street,
all just interacting relaxing in our pad,
the new hub of North London.
The cutting edge. You know?
We could have a glitter ball.
Yeah.
I could make one out of tinfoil.
- All right. - Yes!
But your room's the coat room.
OK.
I'll get thisold thing out of the way.
Party, boom-ba-yeah.
Party--
MYSTERIOUS FEMALE VOICE: If we have it,
they will come.
I said yes.
Oh, hello.
Everything all right?
Oh, yeah.
Teenagers, eh?
She's not a teenager.
She's the devil in an A cup.
AMBER:
Oh!
Well, us amiablebunch of 20-somethings,
us harmless, happy go lucky lot, we're
just having a party tonight.
Very small, very quiet.
And we just wondered if you andAmber wanted to come and throw
coleslaw at each other.
Oh, she won't come.
She's having a party of her own up here tonight.
Are you sure you want me there?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I would love it if you came.
Will Brian be there?
DAISY: Well, yeah.
I hope so.
Tim's just gone to ask him.
Do you like him?
He's all right.
Good legs.
BRIAN: Who is It?
Father Christmas.
Oh, it's you.
Who did you think it was?
Daisy wants to have a housewarming party tonight.
So she sent me down here toask you if you want to come.
Is Marsha coming?
I don't know.
She's just gone up to ask her.
What's the deal with you and Marsha?
You know about the deal?
What?
I'm busy, Tim, painting a triptych.
Oh, yeah. What's it called?
- "Bad Sandwich." - Really?
Yes.
Mm.
It's a piece aboutviolence in its immediacy,
the instantancy of the event.
A synchronic rendering of three explosive,
aggressive expressions.
There will be girls at the party.
- Really? - Yes.
Mm.
TIM: All right, mate. Yeah.
I don't think we're going to need
any security really becauseit's going to be very low key.
Believe me.
Well, yeah.
Well, bring one.
Bring the Beretta.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Bring the Glock-17. Yeah.
That's my favorite.
OK.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
Where have you been?
Talking to Marsha.
What's a Glock-17?
It's a gun.
You've been talking to Marsha for four hours.
Yeah.
Did you know her husbandonce drummed for Status Quo?
Who's bringing a gun to the party.
Mike.
Is that what you've beentalking about for four hours?
Why's Mike bringing a gun to our party?
Security.
Do you think she suspectswe're not a couple?
I don't think so.
Why do need security?
We're not organizing a rave.- Yeah.
Well, it's not the kind of security.
It's like a gun, control,a Linus blanket, you know?
So, erm, do we still have tohold hands in the corridor?
Mm.
Not if you don't want to.It's--
I didn't say that.
Well, I could probably cutdown on the fake sex noises.
- Uh!
Shame.
My friend, Twist, is coming.
Oh, you're going to love her.
She's brilliant. She's brilliant.
Really intelligent, funny, talented,
funny, funny, interesting.- Forget all that.
Is she fit?
Oh, yeah.
She ran a half marathon for Fashion Aid.
You manage to rustle up any media types?
Oh, yeah.
TIM: Who?
The paper boy.
Smooth.
What about you?
Well, what with the Skateramaat the East Finchley Uberbowl
and the Tripods Convention inSwindon, most of my friends
are otherwise engaged.
So--
Don't worry, Tim.
It's going to be great.
I'm just going to go try on a few outfits.
- Hello? - Oh, hi.
Is Daisy there, please?
Yeah. Hang on.
She's just getting her clothes on.
Daisy, it's your boyfriend.
Shh!
Hi, Richard.
Hi.
Erm, what did he mean by that?
DAISY : By what?
About you getting your clothes on.
No, erm--
we're having a housewarming
and I was just trying topick some clothes, you know.
Oh, I see.
DAISY :So how's it going?
- Well-- - Oh!
Oh!
- What's that?
Oh!
Oh, Daisy!
I can hear sex noise!
Shh!
Not now!
I see it as a tribute toChristo, you know, the artist.
I see it as a waste of Baco, the foil.
Party!
OK.
Woo!
Music!
We need warm up music.
Warm up music.
Party tape.
Here we go.
Hot dog jumpingfrog, Alma Cookies.
Hot dog, jumping frog.
Come on.
Albuquerque.
The dream helps you forget--
Try not to eat toomuch, just because there's
quite a lot of people coming.
Yeah?
Hey, Brian.
Do you want some ice?
Come on. Come on.
Come and get some ice.
Go on.
God, I don't understand this.
I defrosted this earlier.
It just eats up electricityand frosts up really quickly.
I've got half a magnum in this afternoon.
I can't get it out now.
It's almost as if it's--
Self-aware.
Yeah.
Ah!
Hi, Mike.
Tim.
Hello.
Oh, hi.
We're looking for the party.
Yeah, well, come on in.
Are you Amber's dad?
It's upstairs.
I think you might have missedthe puppet show though.
TEENAGE GIRLS : Fuck off.
What did you say?
They said fuck off.
I know what they said, Mike.
Little cow, standing there with her bloomin'
purple hair and her giving it all that.
Hello.
Sorry.
This is my best friend, Mike.
Hello, Mike. Hello, I'm Daisy.
Nice to meet you.
How you doing?
Sergeant Mike Watt at TA.
It's the longest way up, shortest way down.
Oh, you brought something?
Yeah.
I've got a landmine.
Oh.
Right.
I'll just put that somewhere safe.
Yes.
Artist, writer.
Erm, Mike.
You never told me Amber is having a party.
Yeah.
We'll show them.
What is this?
This is rubbish.
We should be listening to firm, young melodies,
kicking tunes, thumping bass.
God, I sound so stupid.
Alma's cookies.
DAISY: Twist!
Hi.
Ah.
TWIST: Daisy!
Oh.
Now don't you look nice?
Bit of a midriff show?
Yeah.
Big's in this season.
Good for you.
Everyone, this is my friend, Twist.
Hi.
Hey, Twista, what can I get you?
Well, I shouldn't reallydrink because of the yeast.
But go on, I'll be naughtyand have a spritzer.
OK.
Is there anywhere I can hang my wrap?
Daisy's room the coat room.
TWIST: Right.
She's great, isn't she?
She's so good.
She's so funny.
Oh.
So you two have got separate rooms?
No. Yes.
- Yes. - Yes.
No. We had an argument.
Erm, we had a fight.
Daisy snores. - Yeah.
I snore.
Like-- like a pig.
He's like a big sweaty pig.
No.
You're the pig.
I'm not the snoring one.
Oh, yeah.
That's why we sleep separatelyanyway because, you know,
that's the way-- - We're not a couple.
Hey! Hey!
That's good. We're-- funny.
That is good. No.
What?
Well, the fact is we're not a couple.
We're not-- we lied to get the flat.
But, erm--
TIM AND DAISY :We really like it here.
So please, please,whatever you do, don't tell--
Marsha!
Oh.
TIM AND DAISY : Hi.
It's me.
The weirdo from upstairs.
Oh.
That's--
Am I late?
TIM AND DAISY : No.
MARSHA: Hello, Brian.
Hello.
DAISY: Erm, Twist.
Marsha, this is Twist.
She-- she's in fashion.
Marsha's a landlady?
Hello.
Hi.
Interesting outfit.
Oh, thanks.
Thought I'd make an effort.
Mm, yeah.
I can really see what you tried to do.
Yeah.
Cheers.
And that's Mike.
And he's a Mike.
Where shall I put me coat?
TIM AND DAISY: Erm--- Don't worry.
I'll put it in Tim and Daisy's room.
Does she walk?
Does she talk?
Does she come complete.
TWIST: If I was you, I wouldn't care, you know?
You look great like that.
You can just eat what you like and you
don't care if you get fat.
I wish I didn't have to be so picky.
You can't trust them in thatorganic produce shop, you know.
It's con after con.
That's it, isn't it?
Con after con, you know.
The evil hand of capitalismdons a gardening glove
to take our money in thename of global awareness.
There's a woman in therewith really squinty eyes.
She stinks of garlic.
And she looks like a turd in a wig.
You'd think with the amount of money
she's raking in she couldat least afford a new hair
brush, a t-shirt, or something.
Anyway, it's quite a nice flat.
It will be better when you've unpacked
and cleaned up a little.
This is it, actually.
Tim seems nice and friendly, doesn't he?
Come on now, Daisy, stop feelinglike a big, fat, ugly failure.
Everything's going to be fine.
Mm?
Hey?
Good.
So what do you do, Brian?
He paints.
Oh, yeah?
What sort of thing?
Erm--
Tell her, Brian.
Anger.
Pain.
Ow!
Fear.
Aggression.
I know exactly what you mean.
Do you?
Yes.
Oh, "Time Warp."
--the time warp again.
Oh, time warp.
Oh, time warp?
Let's do the time warp again.
Step to the left.
And then you step to--
Bloody hell, this party is so rubbish.
- Is it? - You were there.
I've been providing some muchneeded door security, Tim-Tim.
- Any problems? - No.
I'm sorry.
Do you think we're getting old, Mike?
Everyone gets old, Tim.
Everyone except my cousin Adam.
What's so special about your cousin Adam?
He is getting younger.
Bastard! What are we going to do?
There's nothing we can do.The government know.
It's all very hush hush.
I'm not talking about Adam!
I'm talking about what we're going to do now.
Don't want to go into your party?
But the were playing the "Time Warp," Mike.
I hate the "Time Warp."
Daisy likes it.
So what?
I hate it.
It's boil in the bag perversion for sexually
repressed accountants andfirst year drama students,
with too many posters of Betty Blue, The Blues
Brothers, Big Blue, and "Blue Velvet"
on their blue bloody walls!
It's just a song.
Well, don't care! I hate it.
I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to hear it at a party,
least of all a party I'm supposed to be throwing!
For love of god, Tim,control yourself, please!
Ah! Ah!
Well, we're all in like,the arts and in the media,
you know.
I'm writing a screenplay at the moment,
called "Guacamole Window."
So I think you'd begood for the lead, actually.
Oh, do you want one?
No, I better not.
Go on then.
I'll have a half.
They're mints.
Yeah.
I'll have a half mint.
Bye bye, Miss American Pie.
Drove my Chevy to thelevy, but the levy was dry.
Ow!
Hey!
Ow! Will you stop it!
I mean it.
I'm sorry I didn't get into the army, Mike.
It's not my fault. Even if it was,
that was a long time ago.
I still remember it, Tim-Tim.
Hey. No time for the now.
What are we going to do?
We could slap each other out a bit more.
No. I don't feel like it.
We could go to Amber's party.
What?
MIKE: Amber, the girl upstairs.
Are you suggesting we crash Amber's party?
I don't know.
It will just be a lot of teenage girls.
And that's a good thing.
I know this much is true.
Have you got anymore booze?
We need some more beers.
What are you doing?
Who are you put--
who are you?
I'm the paper boy.
Daisy, he's got a brace.
I thought it was a piercing.
Eh!
Look, why don't you two come upstairs?
It's brilliant.
It's 2:30 AM and it's just got started.
Eh, I don't know.
Daisy there's things upthere you wouldn't believe.
What about the party?
What about the dips?
That what I mean, Daisy, don't you see?
What?
Dips, the "Time Warp," paper boys.
All right.
Well, not many people came.
But we're having a good time, aren't you?
This is a party!
It's just a laugh!
It's not a laugh!
It's not even a party!
Daisy, there'll be a time for dips, OK?
But this isn't it.
He's right, Daisy.
There's nothing for us here anymore.
Join us.
Yes.
Come on, Daisy.
Join us.
All right.
DAISY: Look at them.
They're all so thin.
Hello?